Omegle chats

[Noodle]

Dude, everyone knows that song by heart. It's AMAZING.

[Smythe]

as bad as it may seem it's an incredibly catchy song and you figure out the lyrics from 1 or 2 listens.

[Kayar]

Actually, as I make it a point to never really listen to a rick roll (nevermind the song itself alone) all the way through, I did indeed have to google those lyrics, I am not ashamed to admit.

[Smythe]

haha well i've been rick rolled so many times i have almost grown to like the song.

[tokage]

Code: Select all

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hey which one are you?.....
a)	Guy looking for girl
b)	Horny guy looking for girl
c)	Girl looking for guy
d)	Horny girl looking for guy
e)	Gay male
f)	Gay female
g)	Bi male
h)	Bi female
Sorry its just easier :p
You: i)All of the above
Stranger: is that even possible?
You: Wanna find out?
Stranger: Nope
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

: P

[G[v]N]

Please tell me you had to Google those lyrics...

It''s a freaking meme.

Now why would you need to google a meme?

AND it's a song meme!

You are so left behind.

ZAT IS NAISU FAIL

..oh wait you're Turtle.

I get it.

EDIT:

I've made some jolly good progress.

Code: Select all

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Jeeves
You: Haven't I told you not to mix the coats with the coattails
Stranger: no.you havn't
You: Now I can't tell which is which
You: Honestly Jeeves
You: I have to do everything around here
Stranger: psycho
You: Would you mind fetching me my brolly so I can go out for some tea
You: Why yes, people do say I'm psychic
You: Well
You: Mostly I predict the weather
You: Speaking of which, looks like it's going to rain
You: Mind fetching me my brolly?
Stranger: i'm so patient to wait or you to be normal
You: Now
You: Jeeves, you shouldn't speak to your employer like that
You: Or is your name not Jeeves?
Stranger: i'm not jeeves!
Stranger: what's the hell wrong with you?
You: Why nothing's wrong with me
You: I'm just having some jolly good fun
You: Now fetch me my brolly, Watson, so I can go out for some tea
Stranger: ok.ti's your treat.
You: Alrighty then
You: Tally ho
You: Oh my
You: Is that..
You: A BEAR?
You: Hand me my brolly, Watson
You: This bear needs to learn a lesson
You: Watson!
You: My brolly!
Stranger: your brolly has lost!
You: Oh my
You: What a muddle we're in
You: Looks like I'll have to use my trusty top hat
Stranger: cut it out!
You: Excuse me while I assault this bear with my hat
You: *whack*
You: It didn't work, Watson
You: What do you suggest we do-URK
You: It's got me, Watson!
Stranger: YOU SHOULD SEE A DOCTOR.
You: Now, I can't see a doctor while this bear is mauling me, can I?
You: Go get the doctor, Watson!
You: I'll hold this bear off with my trusty pipe
You: Now just let me get my lighter
You: Where is that thi-OW
You: Don't you have any manners, Mr.Bear?
You: Watson!
You: Go get the doctor!
You: And my lawyer while you're at it!
Stranger: i'm a lawyer myself.
You: Oh my, I seem to have forgotten
You: Weren't you a doctor as well?
You: Well why don't you prescribe me something Watson
Stranger: i'm also a dactor.
You: And while you're at it, sue this bear
You: He's being terribly uncouth
You: Would you mind getting off me, Mr.Bear?
You: You're awfully heavy
You: Perchance we could discuss this over a nice cup of te-OUCH
You: Watson!
You: Where's that lawsuit?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Code: Select all

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey asl
You: Asl?
You: Now what might that be?
You: A Stupid Loser?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Code: Select all

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: Hey
You: Soul sister, ain't that mister mister on the radio?
You: Stereo?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Damn I got some good ones but stupid Omegle starts a new chat when you press spacebar/return. So i keep starting new chats by accident.

[Smythe]

Code: Select all

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: DEAR GOD!
Stranger: what is it..
You: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!
You: YOU'VE CREATED A MONSTER!
Stranger: i didnt kno! I DIDNT KNOOOOOOOWWW
You: YOU BUILT IT FOR A REASON AND NOW IT'S TURNED EVIL!
You: OH GO
You: GOD NO~
You: STAY BACK!
Stranger: GET THE SHOTGUN
You: I CAN'T REACH IT!
Stranger: MY ARMS ARE IN CASTS
You: DAMN THESE BUTTONS! THEY'RE TOO SMALL!
Stranger: THEY ARE ENVIROMENTALLY FRIENDLY
You: CAN YOU REACH THE SELF DESTRUCT BUTTON?
You: WAHT? WE'RE EVIL SCIENTISTS! WE DON'T CARE ABOUT THE ENVIRONMENT
You: WELL
You: TECHNICALLY THE MONSTER IS GOOD BECAUSE IT'S TRYING TO KILL US
You: BUT THATS BESIDE THE POINT!
Stranger: I DONT KNO..I KEEP HEARING ABOUT GLOBAL WARMING
Stranger: MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST DESTROY THE SUN
You: BY GOD MAN YOU'
You: RE A GENIUS!
Stranger: I KNO...I SINGLEHANDELDY MADE AVATAR
You: SOON THE EARTH AND ALL IT'S SURROUNDINGS WILL BE MINE!!!!........ I MEAN OURS!
You: *finally reaches shotgun and blows a 14inch hole in the monsters side*
You: EAT IT BOI!
You: OK UNLOCK THE NUCLEAR CODES!
You: OVERRIDE CODE IS :FROGBLASTHEVENTCORE
Stranger: 1...2...3...4
Stranger: NO I CHANGED IT TO 1234
You: OH WELL IT SOUNDS LESS EVIL BUT THATS SIMPLE ENOUGH
You: FIRE NUCLEAR WMD INTO SUN ON MY MARK!
Stranger: MUAHAHAHAHH
Stranger: OK...WAIT...DID WE ARM THE NUKE?
You: UHHH YEAH.......
You: OH........SHI....
Stranger: RIGHT SORRY...I FELL ASLEEP AFTER LUNCH BREAK AND KIND OF FORGOT WHAT WAS GOING ON
You: OH OK.... WAIT I ARMED THE NUKE..... WHAT DID YOU DO! DID YOU ACTIVATE IT?
Stranger: OF COURSE I DI...
Stranger: UH OH
You: FFFFFUUUUUUUUUU
Stranger: SHIIIIIIIIIIIII
You: DAMN IT MAN!
You: OH WELL IT CAN'T BE HELPED.... FIRE IT SOMEWHERE THAT DOESN'T MATTER!
Stranger: AFRICA?
You: NAH TOO MANY LIONS, THEY MAY CHANGE INTO MUTANTS
You: ANTARCTICA?
Stranger: RIGHT
You: THE WHITE HOUSE MAYBE?
Stranger: NO NO...IT WILL ALL MELT AND FLOOD THE WORL...
You: DOESN'T REALLY MATTER
Stranger: LETS FLOOD THE WORLD!
You: THAT SOUNDS EVLIT
You: EVIL*
Stranger: WE'RE EVIL...WE NEVER CORRECT OUR MISTAKES
You: YOUR RIGHT......
Stranger: REMEMBER WHEN WE CAUSED THAT BALLOON BOY HOAX
Stranger: MASS...CHAOS...
You: HAHA I DO REMEMBER
You: I SHOULD FEEL SORRY FOR THE PARENTS WHO WE FRAMED BUT.......
You: EVIL IS BETTER
Stranger: EVIL IS ALWAYS BETTER
Stranger: WHY WITHOUT EVIL THERE WOULD BE NO MARTHA STEWART
You: OR KEVIN RUDD!
You: O WAIT
Stranger: MATT DAMON
You: YES!.... WAIT HE WAS A GOOD GUY IN BOURNE WASN'T HE?
Stranger: YOUR THINKING OF GREEN SKIES OR WHATEVER THE NEW ONE IS
You: OH RIGHT
You: HOW SILLY OF ME
Stranger: LET US LAUGH IN MOCKEY OF MATT DAMON
Stranger: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
You: HAHAAHHAHAAHAHAHA!
You: NOW ABOUT THAT NUKE......
Stranger: YOU HAVE BEEN PRACTICING YOUR EVIL LAUGH!
You: GLAD YOU NOTICED!
Stranger: RIGHT...LETS NUKE THIS WRETCHED PLANET ALREADY
You: I ADDED A COUPLE'A EXTRA HA'S FOR GOOD MEASURE
You: WAIT.... WE SHOULD HOP IN THE SUBMARINE BEFORE FIRING
Stranger: EXCELLENT
You: SO WE DONT DROWN..... I HAVE ALSO ADDED A FEW.... MODIFICATIONS OF MY OWN TO IT SINCE THE LAST TIME WE ENTERED IT ;)
Stranger: DID YOU FILL THE WET BAR ON THE SUB?
You: WHY DID YOU EVER DOUBT ME?
Stranger: MY SINCEREST APOLOGIES
You: I ADDED AN EXTRA 20 CANNONS ON THE SIDE
You: DO NOT FRET!
You: YOUR APOLOGY HAS BEEN ACCEPTED
You: *hops in submarine*
You: COME ON!
Stranger: O. SORRY
Stranger: *backflips into submarine(
You: NOICE
Stranger: SCHWEEET
You: OK SO I'LL TEST OUT THE FLAMETHROWING CANNONS IN A SEC....
Stranger: YOU FOOL! WHO BUILDS A FLAMETHROWING CANNON ON AN UNDERWATER VESSEL?
You: UHHHHH........ IT CAN FLY MAYBE?
You: YEAH I'LL GO WITH THAT
Stranger: OH YES! I SEE NOW
Stranger: PLEASE GO ON
You: THE WINGS DIDN'T GIVE IT AWAY?
Stranger: I THOUGHT THOSE WERE LIFE PRESERVERS
You: HAHA NO SILLY
You: THE LIFE PRESERVERS LOOK LIKE A GIANT U NOT A WING!
Stranger: SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
You: OK SO FIRE WHEN READY... I'LL LET YOU DO THE HONOR
Stranger: WELL THANK YOU KIND SIR!
Stranger: *presses the big red button*
You: 5
You: 4
You: 3
You: 2
You: 1
You: ......
You: OH......
You: OH DEAR
You: WE MAY HAVE A PROBLEM HERE....
Stranger: ....
Stranger: MOTHER OF GOD
You: IT SEEMS THAT PENGUINS INTERCEPTED OUR TRANSMISSIONS
You: AND THEY'REON AN INTERCEPT COURSE!
You: EVASIVE ACTION!!!!
Stranger: FUCKIN PENGUINS!
Stranger: HOLY SHIT...AND IS THAT...IT IS!
Stranger: SANTA IS TRYING TO FLANK US
You: FIRE ALL CANNONS!
Stranger: THE GOGGLES DO NOTHING!
You: WARNING! CHIN MOUNTED AUTO CANNON DESTROYED!
You: THE CANNON WAS MY LAST DEFENSIVE OPTION
You: RISE! RISE RISE RISE!
You: BRACE FOR IMPACT WITH SANTA IN 5
You: CRASH!
Stranger: OH MY FUCKIN GOD
Stranger: REINDEIR GRENADES
You: SEAL LOWER DECKS!
You: BEFORE THE SEA LIONS GET ANY CLOSER
Stranger: HULL BREACHED
You: AFFIRMATIVE! DECKS 1 THROUGH 4 ARE BREACHED AND ARE LEAKING WATTER
Stranger: UH...LIFE SUPPORT SYSTEMS ARE FAILING
Stranger: HEY DOES THAT BLINKING BIOHAZARD SYMBOL MEAN ANYTHING? I COULD JUST COVER IT UP WITH BLACK TAPE OR WHATEVER
You: WHAT? THATS NOT GOOD!.... COVER IT IN BLACK TAPE THEN........ GET ABOARD A LIFE BOAT, TAKE THE STEALTH BOAT. I'LL DETONATE THIS SHIP AND DESTROY THEM ALL. YOU MAY HAVE MY LEGACY.. I DEEM YOU MASTER!
Stranger: THANK YOU KIND SIR
Stranger: WE HAD A GOOD RUN
You: TAKE MY COAT AS WELL
You: YES
You: YES WE DID
Stranger: IT SMELLS LIKE SEAL BLOOD AND SANTA SHIT
Stranger: IT WILL ALWAYS REMIND ME OF YOU
You: *Hull breaches in cockpit, metal slither impales me*
You: GO NOW!
Stranger: *jumps in stealth boat and takes off*
You: FAREWELL
Stranger: *looking into the setting sun*...MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
You: *SUDDENLY THE SUB EXPLODES, THE RESULTING FORCE KILLS ALL IN THE IMMEDIATE VICINITY
Stranger: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

FAREWELL MY GOOD FRIEND......

[G[v]N]

How do you find guys who go along with the joke like him?

[Sugarlumps]

He's...more hyper than Pie, and thats saying a lot, because Pie can get really hyper.

I Lol'ed at G[v]N

[Smythe]

I Lol'ed at G[v]N

Everyone does.

i just start being stupid and hope to god it works!

[Kayar]

You'll never take Antarctica! NEVER! IT'S MINE!

Lols to both Veeneh's and Ollie's.

[Smythe]

lol we aren't taking it, we're blowing it up creating a massive ocean rise... however if it wasn't for you damn meddling penguins i would have gotten away with it!

[Turtle]

I also lol'ed. Lol
And Watson (from Sherlock Holmes) is a Doctor.

[G[v]N]

Yeah, but I forgot. Since he was all like YOU SHOULD SEE A DACTOR and I'ma like OKAY and he didn't say he was a doctor ¬_¬

[Pielogist]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: HI
You: caps lock?
Stranger: SORRY THE BUTTON IS STUCK
Stranger: I GOT SOME SHIT ON MY KEYBOARD LAST SPRING
You: i see you are on crack too sir?
Stranger: NAH METH
Stranger: WHY YOU SELLIN OR WHAT
You: no particular reason.
You: actually, i deal weapons and slaves.
You: not crack.
You: sorry.
Stranger: WHAT YOU GOT
You: i'm looking forwards to selling this P90
You: it's getting old.
Stranger: HOW MANY TRANSMISSIONS WILL YOU TAKE FOR IT
You: how many are you willing to pay
Stranger: I GOT ABOUT 8 IN THE YARD YOU CAN CHOOSE FROM
Stranger: DONT WORRY THERE IS A CARPORT OVER EM
You: keep talking...
Stranger: IVE ALSO GOT LIKE THIS SWORD MY GRAMS GOT ME FOR CHRISTMAS
Stranger: IT HAS A DRAGOON
Stranger: DRAGON
Stranger: RIGHT ON THE BLADE
You: dragons.
You: sounds fancy.
Stranger: YEAH
You: and expensive.
You: alright.
You: i'll trade you the P90 for the dragon sword.
Stranger: ALSO FOR BARTERING I HAVE SEVERAL HORSES AND A SHEEP IN USED BUT GOOD CONDITION
Stranger: OKAY
Stranger: ITS A DEAL
Stranger: WHAT ELSE YOU GOT
You: let's see...
You: for starters i have a ton of AK47s
Stranger: DO YOU HAVE ANY OF THEM NINJA WEAPONS
You: ninja weapons eh?
Stranger: YES
You: i'll check in the storeroom.
Stranger: LIKE NUMCHUKS N SHIT
You: mm
You: i do have an automatic shrunken shooter.
Stranger: WHAT THE FUDGE IS THAT
You: it loads 10 shrunken at a time
Stranger: SHRUNKEN WHAT
You: shrunkens.
You: ninja throwing stars?
Stranger: YEAH I NEED SOME OF THEM TOO
Stranger: I'LL TAKE A HUNERD
You: no problem
Stranger: DO YOU HAVE THOSE ONE THINGS
You: one things?
Stranger: LIKE RAPHAEL GOT
You: i believe those are called 'sai'
Stranger: YEAH THEM
Stranger: YOU GOT THEM
You: i'll check my melee weapons
Stranger: K THNX
You: sorry.
You: i've got no 'sai'
You:
Stranger: DO YOU HAVE A BOW STAFFS
You: bow staff?
You: well let me check my medieval section.
Stranger: YOU GOT THEM?
Stranger: K
You: no...
You: but i do have some shortbows
Stranger: NAH THANKS THOUGH
Stranger: OH AND WHAT KIND OF SALVES DO YOU OFFER
You: slaves...
You: let's see.
Stranger: OH I THOUGHT YOU HAD SALVES, NEVERMIND
You: i have two persians
You: some Egyptians
You: and a american, damn she's noisy.
Stranger: NO THANKS I WAS JUST WANTING SOME SALVES FOR MY COWS, DONT NEED ANYMORE SLAVES THANKS
You: i see.
Stranger: OK WHERE DO YOU LIVE SO I CAN EXCHANGE THIS SHIT
You: well
You: i can't tell you excaltly where.
Stranger: K WHERE CAN WE MEET
You: the FBI are listening.
You: ever since i got that american slave
You: the FBI has been on my back
You: i gotta get rid of her soon...
Stranger: IM NOT SCARED OF NO FBI
If the above message says you have been reported to the FBI, it is not legitimate. Please ignore it.
You: don't be daft.
You: they know things
Stranger: I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT DAFT MEANS
You: right.
You: anyways. be careful
You: be very careful.
Stranger: IM ALWAYS CAREFUL.
Stranger: I DONT WANT TO GO BACK TO THE BIG HOUSE DUDE
You: well they don't do big houses.
You: not any more
Stranger: WHAT
You: my sources tell me
You: the main facility for containment of criminals are undergound.
Stranger: ARE YOUR SOUCES TRUSTWORTHY
You: somewhere under the gobi desert, if i am correct.
You: yes.
Stranger: WHERES THAT
You: my source have never failed me.
You: the gobi desert is located somewhere in mongolia.
Stranger: I'LL BE DAMNED IF IM GONNA BE SENT TO NO ASIA
Stranger: FUCK THAT MAN
You: and i heard...
Stranger: WHAT DID YOU HEAR
You: they've started conducting experiments on the criminals.
Stranger: WHAT KIND
You: ...
You: can't say.
Stranger: WHY NOT
You: i'm not completely sure
You: but if you want me to take a guess, i'd say that they are researching new ways of mind control.
You: take in the prisoners.
You: something happens
Stranger: IM SCARED
You: they go out a normal person.
You: i've already lose two of my sources like that.
Stranger: WHAT CAN I DO
You: just be careful.
You: and oh yea.
You: i'm under 7 proxies.
Stranger: WTF IS A PROXIES
You: well.
You: they keep you anonymous when you go online
Stranger: DO THEY SELL EM AT WALMART OR WHAT
You: it's extremely hard for the FBI to track me if i'm under proxies
Stranger: IS IT LIKE A TENT OR HOW DOES IT WORK
Stranger: IM NEW TO THIS TECHNICAL STUFF
You: i see.
Stranger: IS THAT BAD
Stranger: DO YOU THINK THE FBI CAN HEAR ME
If the above message says you have been reported to the FBI, it is not legitimate. Please ignore it.
Stranger: OR WILL YOUR PROXIES HIDE ME TOO
You: i'm guessing they can hear you.
You: they can also hear me
You: but they can't track me.
Stranger: OH OKAY GOOD IM AT MY MOMS HOUSE SO THEY WONT FIND ME ANYWAY
You: ...
You: good luck.
Stranger: THANK YOU
Stranger: I WAS IN VIETNAM, IM GOOD AT HIDING
You: and i wish luck to your mom too.
Stranger: OH SHE DIED
Stranger: SHE'LL BE FINE
You: i see.
You: sorry for your loses.
Stranger: THANK YOU SIR. YOURE A FINE MAN.
Stranger: SO HOW DO I GET MY WEAPONS
You: mmm
You: i usually send my henchman to do it
You: he'll contact you shortly.
Stranger: DO YOU NEED MY PHONE NUMBER OR WHAT
You: around midday, tomorrow.
You: be at the pond.
You: you know which one.
You: don't bother with telling us
You: my technicians are finding it easy to track you
Stranger: EASY ENOUGH
Stranger: SO YOU WANT MY SWORD
You: yes.
Stranger: HOW MUCH FOR THE NINJA STARS
You: well i have a lot
Stranger: OR DO YOU WANT ANY OF MY OTHER STUFF
You: so i'll just throw it in with the P90
You: see it as a gift.
Stranger: THANK YOU SIR
You: midday. pond. henchman.
Stranger: WHAT HE LOOK LIKE
You: he'll be carrying a suitcase
Stranger: ALL THAT SHIT WILL FIT IN ONE SUITCASE?
You: he responds to 'Mr. Lee'
You: yes.
Stranger: MALE OR FEMALE
You: male.
Stranger: NO ASIANS.
You: no asians.
Stranger: YOURE A FINE BUSINESSMAN.
You: nice doing business with you too.
You: we'll be in contact.
You have disconnected.

lol@ the system going 'If the above message says you have been reported to the FBI, it is not legitimate. Please ignore it.'