Mac Gaming Mods

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: so how many fish are you wearing?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: oh hell
You: this is horrible
You: damnit
Stranger: sometimes...
You: I've forgotten how to breath!
You: shit
You: oh fuck, somebody save me
You: gah
You: choking
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: asl
You: heeeeyyy, I know what shop I'm buyin' my toilets from!
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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: So, if you tie the tails of two equally-sized dogs together and place two big, juicy steaks at opposite ends of the room...
You: How long would it take for them to work together to reach one?
Stranger: i give up
You: I know, damnit man, it's an impossible question!
You: I can't figure it out!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: im a man
You: Me too
Stranger: how do u comb ur mustache?
You: How about 1 thousand ?
You: Wish i have 2 penis
You: this make me sweet
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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: OMG CHIKEN
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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: You see what looks like a large mouse running towards you with a big grin on its face. You are armed with a stapler, duct tape, an extra shirt, a French dictionary, and 14 toothpicks. What do you do?
You: Hm
You: bring ma da SPARTA
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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: so, how's the wife and kids?
Stranger: 1 horny,another not
You: and Jim? How's he doing?
Stranger: reading macroeconomics
You: did he ever manage to rip that staple out of his penis?
Stranger: no way
You: good times, good times...
You: so, have you ever shaved a walrus?
Stranger: what do u call the master fisherman?
You: I can't say that I know
You: ...
Stranger: i don't think of what i can help u
You: I can help myself! I don't need you! I don't need ANY of you!!!! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHYDXABYXCIBWSCYUILBVedc
You: OH SHIT
You: THE RACCOONS ARE EATING LITTLE BOBBY!
You: RUN BOBBY RUN!
You: No! You fearsome beasts, get away from him!
You: I'll save you Bobby!
You: They're eating my knife, I can't stop them!
You: OH FUCK
You: GET OFF MY PENIS YOU MONSTER!
You: AACCCCKK!
Stranger: im off
You: BOBBY!
You: SAVE YOURSELF!
You: I'm on.
Stranger: u like metal
You: sometimes
You: like when it's a full-moon
You: and the transformation begins
You: btw, there's a bear in your fridge
You: thought I'd let you know
You: he's eating all the salsa
You: might wanna stop him, if you want to take that nacho idea to the next level
You: How's the other wife?
Stranger: je ne consais pas
You: no
You: fuck
You: don't you dare
You: start speaking
You: your demon language
You: to me!
You: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
You: They only won the revolution because they were the only ones fighting it!
Stranger: mineiro? 
You: como fue tus pantalones?
You: son buenos?
You: hay mucha mujeres en tu casa?
Stranger: you don't remeber?
You: I only remember what I want to remember
You: is there a gas station near your house? I really need a bath
Stranger: fala algo da nossa lingua
Stranger: spanish is not the language 
You: yes, I was aware of that
You: I was referring to the french revolution
You: in that previous comment
You: just so ya know.
Stranger: non sense
You: tu madre esta listo para mi cama?
You: lista*
Stranger: u r confused
You: I AM THE KING OF ANTARCTICA! YOU DARE SAY THAT I AM CONFUSED, MORTAL?
Stranger: well, if you had told me that when I asked you it would have made things easier
Stranger: MORTAL?
You: yes. Mortal. You know, like, capable of dying, not having omniscience, etc...
Stranger: i don't know if can i trust in you
You: it's not necessary. I can trust in myself all I want
Stranger: Personally I think there are much better ways to gauge a person's intelligence
Stranger: I just assumed that if you had an IQ of 140 like me, you would be able to talk in an intelligent way
You: the easiest way by far, however, is to hit them upside the head with a crowbar and see how long it takes for them to stand back up
Stranger: you didn't respond to my question
You: if it was in french, I never bothered translating
Stranger: but I'm still not comfortable giving my e-mail to a stranger
You: No, YOU'RE the stranger!
You: besides, I never asked for your email
Stranger: I'm not really interested in solving mysteries
You: yes, but the weather is perfect for frying ham!
You: I'm wearing a penguin. Are you?
Stranger: im a penguin
Stranger: here's a joke
Stranger: wanna listen?
You: is it about the master fisherman again?
Stranger: not really
You: great, then let's hear it. Er... READ it.
Stranger: once upon a time...
Stranger: matter? 
You: yes please, with a little sugar
You: maybe some atoms on top
Stranger: why?
You: because it was stapled to the chicken! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
You: And the question to go with that answer was
You: How did the dead baby cross the road?
You: er
You: WHY
You: since because only goes with why
You: not how
You: >.<
You: answer me this, Mr. Genius: Why are we here, on this website, having this conversation right now?
You: Is it:
You: A. Voyeurism
Stranger: im Hef
You: B. Insanity
You: C. Curiousity
You: D. Australia
You: choose carefully, a wrong answer may cause stomach cramps
Stranger: what's up?
You: a direction defined by its relation to gravity, typically being in the opposite direction of gravitational pull.
You: Hef, this conversation is beginning to bore me
Stranger: wait a sec
You: you see that button? There? To the left of the box you have been typing in?
You: yessir, waiting a second then
Stranger: where? caralho porra se vc é gringo tu nao vai saber o que é isso 
You: oh, haha, very good sir, you have surpassed my High School Spanish 5 knowledge of the Hispanic language, I know not what you are telling me!
You: that or you've made up a number of words
Stranger: a word of numbers
Stranger: first,i'll introduce some nu guests 2 u な...a も...b む...c ぬ...d す...e ね...f の...g は...h つ...i ひ...j ふ...k へ...l ゅ...m ゃ...n っ...o て...p さ...q せ...r に...s そ...t ち...u め...v し...w み...x た...y ま...z 
so in that way,hi=はつ 
そはすゃ しはなそ ぬっ ち むなへへ な ゅなにそすせ ねつにはすせゅなゃ 
You: have I been speaking to multiple people, or are you one person switching between online translators?
Stranger: can u translate this:vc ñ é a pessoinha legal q eu achei q tinha encontrado again e to flando d un geito baiano pq vc n vai axar nu trdutor
Stranger: e eu odeio vc ou sei la kem axo q to d tpm e eu odeio iscrever asim
You: see, the thing is, I don't really want to. 1. I am on my crappy computer with horrible internet connection on which I really don't want to try and find a translator and fail 2. I don't feel like expending the energy
You: much of what you have just said, at a glance, looks like complete gibberish, btw
You: for example, "pq vc n"
Stranger: said
You: or "trdutor"
You: can I buy your socks?
You: I'll pay good money for 'em
Stranger: sort?
Stranger: under-prepared?
You: preferably matched and alphabetically referenced
You: by logo color
Stranger: alphabetically referenced? 
You: yes, by logo color
Stranger: i guess u are arabian
You: for example, the "Hanes" logo is red, so it would come after a logo'd sock with a logo color of blue
You: nope
You: wrong guess
You: please come again
Stranger: ohayo?
You: nope
Stranger: korea?
You: nope
You: I'll give you a hint: it's big, it's fat, and it eats at MacDonalds. 
Stranger: Okay?
Stranger: american people?
You: you win the grand prize!
You: yes, I am in fact American
You: and yet, I'm not fat and I do not eat at Macdonalds
Stranger: but the words is in japanese
You: you mean the ones you said?
You: everything I said was either spanish or english
Stranger: u r south american people?porto rico?
You: nope
You: like I said, I have reached Spanish level 5 in high school, that's how I can say all that cra[
You: crap*
Stranger: POC?
You: I have no idea what that stands for
You: people of croatia? No
You: penis of candlewax? No
You: Purple ovulating chef? No
Stranger: i miss her
You: don't worry, you'll find a new one
You: she'll be better
Stranger: she returned to tawian
You: have you talked since?
Stranger: i typed wrong
You: um...
You: right, so, what exactly did you actually mean to type?
Stranger: u r so strange 
You: why thank you ^^
You: I try very hard, it's good to hear it's working
You: farewell
You have disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi asl
You: hia
Stranger: u there?
You: so rude! you shouldn't ask someone Asl asa soon as you meet them
Stranger: ok
Stranger: next time i will not ask u
Stranger: but tel me ur asl now
Stranger: ha ha hah a
You: good. 15 m australia
You: :P
Stranger: am also male
Stranger: no gals
Stranger: :((
You: lets start a revolution!
Stranger: am feeling bad
Stranger: do u knw any gal for a fuck
Stranger: do u hav any gal friends
You: yeah
You: my girlfriend.
Stranger: did u fucked anyone
Stranger: can u give me ur galfriend
Stranger: for one nite
Stranger: i want to fuck her
You: lol where ya live?
Stranger: am frm australia
Stranger: melbourne
You: damn. you could have lost your virginity if you lived in tasmania.
Stranger: where is it
You: tasmania?
Stranger: ok please give me some gal mobile numbers
Stranger: or their email id
Stranger: i want to have gal friends
Stranger: do u any gal
You: yeah
Stranger: please give their contact number
You: ok just a sec
Stranger: ok
You: 1902 262 554
Thats her number
Stranger: wats her name?
You: Melanie
Stranger: whats her age
Stranger: ?
You: shes 18
Stranger: wat she is doing=
Stranger: do u know her?
You: yeah she's my friend
Stranger: school friend
Stranger: by the way wats ur name dude
You: Chris
You: yeah
Stranger: will she be interested to hava a date with me
You: maybe. she's a bit of a slut she'll fuck anyone who wants it really.
Stranger: cool dude
Stranger: wats ur number
Stranger: i ll try to cal when am free
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
Stranger: hi
Stranger: asl
You: 18 f USA
You: you?
Stranger: 19 m turkey
You: cool
You: wanna check out my blog?
Stranger: yes
Stranger: do you have msn
You: http://www.iheartu.tk 
No i don't have MSN sadly.
Stranger: you horny
You: Just a bit......
Stranger: 50 cent :))
You: lol
You: Did my blog work?
Stranger: yeah
You: what came up?
Stranger: Pforzheim Hotel Crystal
Stranger: write
You: ah
You: hold on a sec
You: http://www.goatse.ca
THat should work
Stranger: ok
Stranger: now
You: did it work
You: ?
Stranger: yes
You: cool
You: you enjoy it ;)
Stranger: yes :))
You: you enjoyed goatse?
Stranger: goatse?
You: the second website
Stranger: ı see very nice
You: lol
You: actually press the link dumbass
Stranger: what is your job
Stranger: travelling
Stranger: ?
You: Oh my god...
You: you aren't really 19 are you?
Stranger: why
You: you're a 12 year old virgin who couldn't get laid to save your own life
You: i hate people like you.
Stranger: come turkey
You: no
You: freak
You: you're either a 12 year old virgin or a 83 year old pedophile
Stranger: ı do very sex :)))?
You: *Doublefacepalmheaddesk*
You: no
You: you don't
You: you sit at your computer jerking off to pictures of 3 year old boys
Stranger: fuck off bitchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
You: oooooh language boy
You: you learn that from your mother and dad arguing?
Stranger: no your america,
You: http://www.goregasm.com
Example of you.
Stranger: learn çanakkale wars
You: i'd rather not
Stranger: do it you fag.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
Stranger: tits?
You: Yeah
You: why?
Stranger: im drunk and horny
You: we have something in common then ;)
Stranger: like wat
You: tthe fact we're both horney
Stranger: well
You: wanna see my blog?
Stranger: sure
You: www.goatse.cn
You: you'll enjoy it
Stranger: theres nothin
You: really?
Stranger: yep
Stranger: no connection
You: oh
You: hold on i'lll get you a different link k?
Stranger: ok
You: www.tubgirl.com
THat should work
Stranger: there just random porn sites arent they
You: no
Stranger: not valid
You: god damn it
You: http://www.dr47.com ?
Stranger: nothin1
Stranger: !!!!
You: this is weird
You: oh right it's goatse.ca.
You: my mistake
Stranger: still nothing
You: thats weird
You: I have a youtube video of me if you want...
Stranger: ok....
You: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0
Stranger: still nothing r u bulllshitting
Stranger: me
You: nope
You: WE'er no strangers to0 looover!
You: you know the rules
You: and sso do i!
You: a full commitments what i''m
You: thinking
You: of
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Stranger: m 18 usa
You: M 96 New zealand
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You: ah
You: hold on a sec
You: http://www.goatse.ca
THat should work
Stranger: ok
Stranger: now
You: did it work
You: ?
Stranger: yes
You: cool
You: you enjoy it ;)
Stranger: yes :))
You: you enjoyed goatse?
Stranger: goatse?
You: the second website
Stranger: ı see very nice
You: lol
You: actually press the link dumbass
Your conversational partner has disconnected.