Omegle chats

[Kayar]

Slapzy wins, of course.

[Kayar]

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: Hello Sean.
You: Nice day we're having, eh?
Stranger: n o
You: Are you sure?
Stranger: i am going to kill myself
You: But George, you have so much to live for!
You: Think of the children!
Stranger: i have nothing to live for
You: Fredrick, you have everything to live for. Why, living itself is a reason to live!
Stranger: my gf fucked my best friend
You: Breath in the fresh air of this wondrous reality, Bernard!
You: Ah. Well then, Stanley, perhaps you should punch him in the face?
You: He probably deserves it.
Stranger: did it
Stranger: 5 times
Stranger: he is in the hosbital
You: Do you hate him at this point, or yourself more?
Stranger: hell yeah
You: Uh...
You: That was not a yes or no question.
You: Who do you hate more, yourself or him?
Stranger: myself
Stranger: I Still Drink Alone
You: Okay. Now think of this: At least you aren't an asshole like he obviously is, and at least you aren't in the hospital after being punched in the face 5 times.
Stranger: and i am always going to
You: You apparently completely owned him.
You: I'd say that's a job well done.
You: Might want to drop the drinking, that's, probably a bad idea.
Stranger: a botle of jack evry day, why not?
You: Alright, just a bottle then, that's fine.
You: Anything else you want to complain about, James?
Stranger: i hate Jesus
You: It's okay, I'm atheist. I semi-understand.
You: Farewell.
You have disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: tell me a secret
You: I have three penises.
Stranger: tell me a secret not a lie
You: My grandfather is the world's greatest male prostitue juggler.
You: He juggles male prostitutes.
You: On the moon.
Stranger: and this is not a lie?
Stranger: haha wow
Stranger: a SECRET not a LIE
You: Well, seeing as he's dead and I don't know what the afterlife is like, it's certainly possible.
You have disconnected.

[Fortune]

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: Greetings mortal
You: My name is Flophdor
You: I come in peace
Stranger: coolz
You: What do they call you?
Stranger: Tregdara
Stranger: i am no mortal
You: That was the name of my sister who I am pregnated and then killed
Stranger: I am your sister
Stranger: you thought you killed me
Stranger: but i lived
You: Would you like to mate again then?
Stranger: yes you were very good in bed
Stranger: as long as your dont try to kill me again
You: Agreed
You: Pull out your snapeque
You: So I can trank it
Stranger: Got it out, trank away
You: Mmm
You: Trank trank trank trank!
Stranger: feels lovely
You: Sister? Why do you not do the dance of the seven suns?
Stranger: I prefer the dance of the six moons
You: But the seven moons dance is necessary to ensure that you do not die
Stranger: Alright I will start the seven suns dance then
You: Hallahbabbahallahbabbahallahbabba...
You: ORRRPUEEEET
Stranger: Hashshasfuhhaahahhhhaflaaa
Stranger: toquettttttttla
You: Ruperaruperarupera
You: PERGAAAAD
You: And now you are pregnant with my seed again
You: Good luck fostering my seed. I will check up every so often. But for Now I leave you.
You have disconnected.

[Kayar]

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
Stranger: asl
You: So, I hear you want to become President of Hawaii.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi i'm french guy 26 years old how are you
You: I am feeling shitty.
You: And wonderful.
Stranger: why
You: All at once.
You: Because I just switched my car insurance to Geico.
You have disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Disconnect.
You: Now.
You: 5
You: 4
You: 3
You: 2
You: 1
You: Now!
You: Go go go go!
Stranger: jo
Stranger: go
Stranger: 0
Stranger: -1
Stranger: -2
Stranger: -3
Stranger: -4
Stranger: -5
Stranger: booooooom
You: Noob-cake, I never asked you to be this stupid.
You have disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hello
You: I have a deer tick on my penis.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: FUCK
You: FUCK
You: FUCK
You: FUCK
You: FUCK
You: FUCK
You: FUCK
Stranger: 草泥马
You: FUCK
You: Why yes I believe so as well.
Stranger: 草泥马
Stranger: 操你妈
You: How are your pants today?
Stranger: 很好
Stranger: 没有你蛋疼
You: Unfortunately I am not quite as spritely as you.
You: I rely on my rosebuds to eat my food for me.
Stranger: 操
Stranger: 你是美国佬？
Stranger: 还是英国佬
You: Do you have any peanuts in your hair?
You: I would also like a polar bear for a neck-tie.
Stranger: 管我屁事啊
You: Thank you for your spleen.
You: It was quite delicious.
Stranger: ....
You: I wish I had some gasoline for my haircut.
Stranger: 你今天是不是疯了？
Stranger: 你是男是女的？
You: Hey, I think that as well.
Stranger: 男的？
Stranger: 还是女的？
You: I think we all need a chance to go eat some liver every so often.
Stranger: 你看不懂吗？
You: Have you ever tied a llama's tounge to its legs?
Stranger: 用翻译软件啊
Stranger: sb
You: I have six balls in a bag in my pants pocket.
Stranger: 哦
Stranger: 知道了
You: Please disconnect in 5
You: 4
You: 3
You: 2
You: 1
You have disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey!
You: Sir your credit report shows a downward trend.
You: It may be time to get things back on track.
You: Would you like to invest in a walrus?
Stranger: you are male from new york
You: No, I am not "male from new york."
Stranger: ah, well, tell me who you are
You: I am the Queen of England!
You: Would you like some strumpets?
You: I can have them sent to you on the morrow.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Sugarlumps]

Whos the random chinese dude? He asked if "Are you mad today?" in the line after the gasoline statement.

[Kayar]

I am mad but north-north-west. When the wind blows southerly, I can tell a hawk from a handsaw.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Yes.
Stranger: you like pants?
You: Indeed, only when seasoned properly.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: Oh hello there my man.
You: Going to go eat some lasagna today are we?
You: How are your nipples? Cold or dry?
You: I have a walrus in my back pocket.
You: Do you ever sing to loons?
Stranger: yess
Stranger: my mann
You: Wondrous happenstance.
You: Please exit front row left-hand red corridor out the back on Tuesday.
You: How is your grandmother? Still orange?
You have disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: I am the Dread Pirate Roberts!
Stranger: hey
You: I am here, but soon, you will not be here!
You: The Dread Pirate Roberts is here for your SOUL!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Kayar]

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hello
You: I have a koala.
You: In my pants.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hello
You: A small Asian man will now do a ceremonial dance on your head.
Stranger: i like it
You: He is now burning incense in your ears.
You: In five seconds your pants will explode.
You: 5
You: 4
You: 3
You: 2
You: 1
Stranger: my i know where>
?
You: Somewhere else.
You: Far, far away.
You: Possibly in Latvia.
You: Or Mars.
Stranger: asl?
You: Ten thousand leagues under the sea my friend.
You: Where only the walrus-fish go.
Stranger: asl?
You: Would you like a can of Dr. Pepper?
Stranger: y
Stranger: u?
You: These are letters sir. They spell words.
Stranger: i dont know what r u talking about?
You: I am talking about the terrible condition the world's population of catfish is in!
You: You may want to eat your shoelaces at this point, before they procreate.
Stranger: oky u like fish/?
You: Whatever gave you that idea?
You: I enjoy a handsaw at times.
Stranger: i like u
Stranger: u love nature
You: I love destruction. I am the keeper of all things inane.
You: I am also the keeper of your soul.
You: ^^
Stranger: thts no gool
Stranger: my i know asl?
You: 9000, None, Hell
Stranger: lol
Stranger: thats not importannt
You: Indeed it is not.
Stranger: u r devil?
Stranger: lol
You: But it could be.
You: If you believed.
Stranger: lol
You: In the great nothingness inherent within all things.
Stranger: i believe u
You: Thank you. I'm glad someone does.
Stranger: u r so young
Stranger: lol
You: Only if you believe I am.
Stranger: how old r u?
Stranger: lol
You: 9000. Give or take 500.
Stranger: i believe u
Stranger: u r so old not same like your speak up
Stranger: lol
Stranger: i want to off
You: I am but a kindly bard telling tales to the people of Camelot, my lord!
You: Farwell!
You: Farewell*
You: I shall see you shortly.
You have disconnected.

[Smythe]

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hello
You: I have a koala.
You: In my pants.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.[/quote]
This was so much win.

[TaxiService]

^ AHAHAHHAHAHAHA i completely agree with that XD

also kayar, that was awesome, you know! you are talented!!


no, seriously, do you use a machine to create the phrases? o_o 'cause... man!!

[Sugarlumps]

Kayar has the power of mirth and laughter. He has an unlimited pit of creativity and imagination.
Or, as taxi pointed out, he could be using machine (i don't believe it though)

[Kayar]

Why thank you, and no, unless you believe my own mind to be a machine, I do not appearify my phrases with a machine. I cook them slowly on a spit over a fire, tendering them until their juices sizzle and the meat is more tender than your nether regions.

[TaxiService]

appearify

lol.

[Kayar]

Hells yeah.

[1337_Wolf]

As a big dr Who fan, i just did this:

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Na’Qae Meim’Idne. /b/?
Stranger: ...
Stranger: Well, I'm not teh /b/.
Stranger: Sorry.
You: RUULS 1 & 2!!!111!!11!!
Stranger: ...
Stranger: Oh.
Stranger: Sorry.
You: m/f
Stranger: M.
Stranger: ...I dun have tits.
You: ruul 16!!!
Stranger: ...yeah, I get it.
You: Rule 34, 39, 65 and 69
Stranger: Rule 31.
You: D=
You: Blasphemy
Stranger: Rule 29.
You: i shall have to invoke... RULE 100!!!!
Stranger: Rule 20, by the way.
You: D= Right Bob, time for you to warp in the tardis
Stranger: ALSO YOU FUCKED UP RULE 39
You: you go left, ill go right
Stranger: Heh, Tardis.
You: Kill the daleks with your sonic lipstick and meet back here in 5 hours
You: Dont be late
Stranger: 'kay.
You: Or the Cybermen will find you
You: Then we defeat them and be home in time for tea
Stranger: What about the POKEMANZ?
You: Providing Davros doesnt show up ofc
Stranger: Oh, cheerio, then.
You: Pokemanz can be caught later
Stranger: Ah.
Stranger: And Rule 46 will be had by all?
You: If you see them, catch them, but make sure they arnt Pokewomanz
You: And, as always, abide by Rule 39
Stranger: YES /B/ROTHER.
You: Got to go. Good luck Chappy
Stranger: FAREWELL.
You: Oh, and rules 1 & 2
You have disconnected.

Na’Qae Meim’Idne Is gallifreyan for Greetings Human btw.

Oh, and i also just did this:

You: Na’Qae Meim’Idne, We need to kick these daleks butts!
Stranger: OMG DID YOU WATCH DR. WHO???!!!
You: I am The Doctor. I cant watch myself ><
Stranger: Pff, sure man. What's my race then?
You: Meim'Idne
Stranger: ... Incorrect Doctor.
Stranger: Reply with the correct answer or prepare to be incinerated
You: Human?
Stranger: Race Doctor, you have but 5 minutes now
You: Right, i dont have time for this Jimmy. We all know you are a hybrid. Now lets go
Stranger: I'm not called Jimmy you fiend! ARE YOU CHEATING ON ME?
You: Sorry Jack. you know how i am with names
Stranger: WHAT THE FRICK DOCTOR I'M NOT JACK
Stranger: *cries in emo corner*
You: Jamiroqui?
You: Johnny?
Stranger: You gave me that key for NO REASON didn't you *sob* I . feel. so. USED.
You: Jimbob McFeasel the third?
Stranger: so used..
You: I know it begins with j, and im 12.165411566% sure you're Male
You: Jasmin! Thats it!
Stranger: *SOBS* OMG NOOO DOCTOR
You: Jemma?
Stranger: wait whut, Jasmin isn't a Male name
You: Jacky Chan!
You: Hey, i was only 12% sure
Stranger: Jackie*
Stranger: don't diss the chan!
You: Josiphine! Of course!
You: *world explodes*
You: Well, looks like we were too late Jane. Again
Stranger: *yells into oblivion* You're an unfaithful whore Doctor!!
You: =D
You have disconnected.

[Kayar]

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey im a 59 yr old perv that lives in my moms basment
You: Wow great.
You: That's wonderful.
Stranger: yessssssssssssssssssss
You: How's about a nice helping of goat liver to ease the throat?
Stranger: WYR get balltapped really hard or have a dildo shoved in your mouth. 
You: That sounds ten times less enjoyable than slowly licking the hair off a donkey.
Stranger: yeahhhhhhhh thats turning me onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: This is the greatest conversation I have ever had.
Stranger: me too
Stranger: enlightening, this
You: Almost as good as watching grass grow.
You: Which is what I'm going to go do right now.
You have disconnected.