Omegle chats

[Fonzeh]

Meh, prepare for lame puns.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: 19 m gay
You: Well good for you!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: Hi
You: Sup Dudemonster
You: in a can
You: eating spam
You: neverland
You: ...
You: smell my hand?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: you
Stranger: me
You: spread em
You: now
Stranger: They're glued
You: wat
You: so like... oh god what a tragic childhood you must've had
Stranger: you have no idea
You: like... did the kids at school pick on you? did they call you that fat person with their asscheeks forever combined, stopping even gasses from expelling?
Stranger: and they called me the faggot kid with 2 dads!
You: I have 3 :(
Stranger: how did that work?
You: You don't want to know, i still cant see out of my right eye. I walked in and one was on the floor, the other on the table, and ricky was on the ceiling fan spinning like a puppet on a string... oh goood....
Stranger: Whoa...
You: worst birthday ever...
You: worst part though ricky was the electric repair dude, my other dad was coming with the retractable baton as i walked in
Stranger: my god!
You: the mental repercussions...
Stranger: homosexuality at it's finest
You: Nah you see there was two llamas and a boar there.. both of which were very loud in the whole process... so... i think it would fall under a different catagory...
You: it was just overall very disturbing
You: my 3 year old sister couldnt handle it and had a stroke, which then triggered 3 seizures one after the other
You: shes now 34 and works at denny's
You: spreading her stink gel on peoples toast
You: it actually adds a nice flavor though
Stranger: My grandpa is also my nephew
You: that sounds like a very interesting situation that shouldnt have happened
You: condoms really should be worn in those kind of states
You: My brother is also my son
You: and my dad is also my dad
You: also
You: dad
Stranger: my mom is stapled onto my left boob
You: now see you broke the rules
You: you revealed your gender... well wait nvm, men do have boobs as well
You: fucking testosterone
Stranger: yeah they do!
You: were supposed to keep things anonymous while having a random conversation
Stranger: I did no such thing.
Stranger: You still have no idea whether i'm a man or a woman.
You: true
You: but still, such details should be left out, for instance, penis wouldve been a better replacement, because everyone says that
You: and it would be taken as a joke, as so
You: besides there are no girls on the internet
Stranger: GIRL = Guy In Real Life
You: well said
You: ive never even looked at it like that, my god
Stranger: well quoted by the monk I visit weekly in Tibet
You: i cant see a monk, my shrink wont let me. says i cant follow the rules and keep my eyes on the calkboard
You: and i never do my homework on time, fucking incompletes on my grade card

[Smythe]

Lol'd hard at the last one.

[Noodle]

smell my hand

[Mgalekgolo]

:3

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: Hey :)
Stranger: careful
Stranger: the words you type
You: O.O
Stranger: oh god
Stranger: seriously
You: WHAT HAVE I DONE?
Stranger: any more smileys
Stranger: and you're fucking grounded buddy
You: WELL THEN MISTER NO HAPPY FACE!
Stranger: plant that ass down because you're not going anywhere
Stranger: just sit there and think about what you've done
Stranger: ^_^
Stranger: @_@
Stranger: ^________^
You: :O
Stranger: make some real kawaii ones
Stranger: some insincere lil :3's and ^_^'s
You: ( o Y o )

Better?
Stranger: is that even a real face
Stranger: is that supposed to be boobs
You: it's a terrible ascii boob
You: well
You: boobs
You: but it's terrible nontheless
Stranger: now i'm waiting for you to start pasting
Stranger: massive fucking ascii artworks
You: nah, not my style :P
Stranger: tell me about your style
Stranger: because imo your flow is played out money
Stranger: you need to get that shit a style
You: my style died in the 70s, sadly i was born in the 90s, so everything is different :'(
Stranger: heh 0wned
Stranger: i'm 89
You: not died in the 70s, died in the 90s
You: nice
Stranger: no
Stranger: literally 89 years old
Stranger: i was born in the 20s
Stranger: i only have a few hours remaining....
You: yep! i'd believe that! if i was born yesterday!
Stranger: listen little guy
Stranger: do you know how many little guys ive crushed
You: Spend them fapping, it's your only choice!
Stranger: to get to where i am
Stranger: masturbation is disgusting
Stranger: and a sin
Stranger: you weirdo
You: Well you've crushed little guys, pretty sure that's a sin too
You: so
You: you're fucked either way
Stranger: cum in my gay wrinkly ass
You: :3
Stranger: i'm through with this
You: i win methinks
Stranger: ^literally fucking loses for using "methinks" unironically
You: if omegle had a thumbs up emoticon, i'd use it :3
Stranger: if omegle had a "crunch this huge nerd" feature i would be abusing the FUCK out of it
You: hmm
Stranger: i'm a nice guy
Stranger: don't get me wrong
You: i can't think of anything to say!
You: Except
Stranger: just apologize to me
You: i think it's marvelous :3
Stranger: the truth is dude
Stranger: you could slit my throat
Stranger: and with my one last gasping breath
Stranger: i'd apawlogize
Stranger: for bleeding on ur shirt
You: you'd kiss me, holding my in an embrace so deep, finally knowing that our love is unyielding.
Stranger: what is that even a reference to
Stranger: love is no big deal
Stranger: it's the falling you feel
Stranger: if you know what i'm saying
You: our love is more than just falling, we fall together, and we land together, holding each other, never letting go of the moment
Stranger: snuggled close to ur warm frame as we sleep away the afternoon nothing around 2 bother us....
You: now that's just gay bro.
You: seriously
Stranger: dude after a few budweisers
Stranger: you'lll be as gay as i am
Stranger: just fucking kiss me on the lips
Stranger: faggot
You: hey hey! no need to bring out the unpleasantries!
Stranger: shut the fuck up you huge queerbitch
Stranger: wanna play PSO
You: i don't know what that is, but i'm assuming it's making you mad?
Stranger: lol
Stranger: you own
Stranger: i wanna get you on skype
Stranger: and decimate you verbally
Stranger: talk mad shit to you
You: hehe talk to me rough babe ;)
Stranger: ^terrified of me finding out he has a soft effeminate voice
Stranger: that i'll laugh at him for
You: well
You: i guess you could do that!
You: or you can listen to my typing in a soft, feminine voice... if that makes you feel any better :)
Stranger: you are so mysterious
Stranger: i'd watch a movie with you and giggle along
Stranger: it would have to be a comedy
You: how about a serbian film?
Stranger: probably romantic comedy but with action
You: ever seen it?
Stranger: you mean that gorefest stupid porn shock thing
Stranger: eat my little dick faggot
You: it's hilllaarriouus!
You: WAT! how can you not like that movie?
You: it was the brain child of a master!
Stranger: tyou are socially maladjusted
Stranger: leave me alone
You: a movie only one could think of!
Stranger: we cant be friends ever again
You: But our love!
You: it's so meaningful! don't leave me here alone!
Stranger: i aint loving some little guy
Stranger: i need a Manic Pixie Dream Girl
Stranger: with a real addiction to the internet
You: oh right! you're looking for a GIRL on the INTERNET? (yes that means you Divine)
You: WELL
Stranger: Divine
You: look no further!
Stranger: what
Stranger: are you calling me divine
You: than "MYGRANSEX.COM
Stranger: your trolls are played out homie
Stranger: you need to get that shit a style
You: i'm not even trying to troll bro, just feeling the magic :)
Stranger: nothing magic comes from you only bitter regrets and wasted hours
You: Busty Trannies 3?
You: well
You: yeah
Stranger: you are a tragic facade of projections and weak embellishments meant to mask the layers of nf buried within your timid soul
Stranger: a tryhard if you will
You: but what else is a teenager to do? :O other than sit around and waste his life when he's not at school! breaking our minds with the internet, destroying our senses with mind boggling drugs!
Stranger: An old man.
Stranger: Turned 98.
Stranger: He won the lottery.
Stranger: And died the next day.
Stranger: It's a black fly.
Stranger: In your chardonnay.
Stranger: It's a death row pardon.
Stranger: Two minutes too late.
You: good on him! i bet the prick spent it on hookers too!
Stranger: And isn't it ironic?
Stranger: Don't you think?
Stranger: ITS LIKE RAAYYYYYNNNE
Stranger: ON YOUR WEEDING DAY
Stranger: ITS A FREE RIDE
Stranger: sorry
Stranger: im tired of 0wning u lil guy
Stranger: lil teenager
Stranger: pop pills dont stop
Stranger: drop tabs of acid
You: Don't sing, it kills the children!
You: drugs are bad, for birds
Stranger: you are so xD lol random that it hurts me
Stranger: stop it
You: like parrots
Stranger: STOP IT
Stranger: FUCKING
Stranger: GODMDAN IT
Stranger: FUCKING
Stranger: YOURE TROLLING ME SO HARD
Stranger: JKUST BY BEING YOU
You: yep! that's me!
You: a parrot of love mate :)
Stranger: i want to kick your ass at a video game
Stranger: just to let you know
Stranger: whats up
You: how about...... how about Banjo Tooie?
Stranger: holy fuck weird
You: always a good game
Stranger: i was playing the original Banjo Kazooie a few days ago
You: hmm
Stranger: or repalying it
You: dude
Stranger: i guess
You: nice
Stranger: DUDE
You: either way
Stranger: so i take it
Stranger: thats you dropping the hint subtly that you are a casual
You: how about pokemon stadium? i have a team that could beat yours in a second!
Stranger: who doesnt play competitive game
Stranger: because he just plays for fun
Stranger: or an ironic nintendo nerd
Stranger: that needs to have his face beat in
You: haven't had anything nintendo since N64 :3
Stranger: BUT WUT ABOUT THE MINI GAMES IN POKEMON STADIUM
Stranger: THEY R SO FUN
Stranger: no shut the FUCK up they suck
Stranger: you SUCK
Stranger: i HATE YOU
You: FUCKING MAGICARP SPLASH!
Stranger: i wanna BEAT YOU
Stranger: TIME A
Stranger: 20 TINMES
Stranger: FUCKINGDOGSHIT
Stranger: FUCKING LILIKITUNG SUSHI
Stranger: LICK MY LAREGE ASSHOLE
Stranger: FUCK YOU NITNENDO
Stranger: THAT GAME SUCKED
You: IT WAS GREAT!
Stranger: you are dog scum
Stranger: i hate you because you FUCKING SUCK
You: DON'T EAT THE FUCKING GREEN TEA! BURNS YOUR SHITTER!
Stranger: okay stranger if you want to think you've won think so
Stranger: but just realize
Stranger: i only disconnected
Stranger: because you are literally autistic
Stranger: you are like a manchild
Stranger: that i cant face anymore
You: ORANGE SOUP IS THE MOST EXPENSIVE
Stranger: ^Aspie Lord Supreme
You: OOh getting fancy are we? you slimy dog breath twat!................. that'd be 4 pounds 80 thanks :)
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

this may just rival kayar's 0_0

[Yarok]

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label
'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: [WARNING: Omegle™ is required under United States Federal Law to
inform you that the IP (98.179.227.210) of the person whom you are
chatting with is linked to a registered sex offender. Omegle™
encourages you to consider this when giving out personal information.
The stranger cannot see this message.]
Stranger: I saw that thread /b/ro
You: So you say
Stranger: So whats op?
You: I know not of this op
Stranger: But hes a faggot!
You: I know not of faggots, but only men
Stranger: I am kind of a faggot :c
Stranger: No I dont like men
You: So you say
Stranger: Its a long story
Stranger: Mission accomplished, good wook
You: Wookie?
You: I see not of a Wookie 'round here parts
Stranger: Fucking recons man
You: Ah, of the bush wookie you speak
You: They are rare, but proud
Stranger: Support is better
You: We must continue the hunt
Stranger: Just another bug hunt
Stranger: or wookie hunt
You: Dem buggers
Stranger: Just another god damned mountain tremor
You: I don't know, I just work here Dave]
Stranger: also i dont want to hunt the bugs they look nice :c
You: http://i.imgur.com/KacI5.jpg
Stranger: Hmmmmm
You: Hmm indeed
Stranger: informative
You: It is a chilling composition, yes
Stranger: Red pill or blue pill
Stranger: i still stand by my statement
Stranger: since i have a fetish for them :c
Stranger: atleast im not a furry
You: You have a peel fetish?
You: Cause I got peelz over here
Stranger: no xenomorph fetish
Stranger: peels taste bad
You: Oh yeah, that long, supple tail
Stranger: You are under arrest for the murder of your wife.
You: NO! I NEED HER!
You: INSIDE OF ME
Stranger: Your lying, stranger.
You: I'm making a break for it. Don't lose your hat over it, Cole.
Stranger: But I dont own a hat
Stranger: Code 3, KGPL
You: That's very poor cop ettiquette
Stranger: yes
Stranger: it is
You: You deserve a promotion
Stranger: yay
Stranger: im a homocide cop now
Stranger: i just noticed how badass that sounds
Stranger: Oh yeah I forgot they dont have schools where you come from..
You: By that you mean you like bad asses, I'm sure mean you mean
Stranger: im not gay for vin diesel
You: But you would be lesbian for him
You: HEY-O
Stranger: no
Stranger: dont like him at all
Stranger: if i was a girl then still no
You: A very manly woman
You: I must go, my sweet prince
Stranger: noooooo
Stranger: i loved you
You: I leave you with a picture of moi
You: http://i.imgur.com/Sq9Hn.jpg
You: Farewell
You have disconnected.

[Amy]

Lol the only one i read was the one that talked to me....

[ZuZuRox]

Hello~ ^-^

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: hi
Stranger: do you like talking dirty?
You: Ooh! Do you wanna go make mud pies!
Stranger: hehe..ok first, here's a regular pic of me http://bit.ly/jjqlTr :)...but i want you to see my naughty ones before we cyber
Stranger: http://ur.ly/Mklo ..they're under sxylick23, tell me what you think
You: My mommy says not to look at stuff like that.
You: She says that's bad.
You: She says I'll turn into a lonely 52 year old fat guy living in her basement spending all day here, pretending to be a teenage girl
Stranger: actually, you can chat w/ me on the site too..look me up sxylick23 and i promise to blow you :P
Stranger: i'll be waiting
You: Like blow bubbles?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I seriously thought she'd disconnect as soon as I said "mud pies". XD

[Smythe]

Hello~ ^-^

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: hi
Stranger: do you like talking dirty?
You: Ooh! Do you wanna go make mud pies!
Stranger: hehe..ok first, here's a regular pic of me http://bit.ly/jjqlTr :)...but i want you to see my naughty ones before we cyber
Stranger: http://ur.ly/Mklo ..they're under sxylick23, tell me what you think
You: My mommy says not to look at stuff like that.
You: She says that's bad.
You: She says I'll turn into a lonely 52 year old fat guy living in her basement spending all day here, pretending to be a teenage girl
Stranger: actually, you can chat w/ me on the site too..look me up sxylick23 and i promise to blow you :P
Stranger: i'll be waiting
You: Like blow bubbles?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I seriously thought she'd disconnect as soon as I said "mud pies". XD

that was a bot you derpo

Lol the only one i read was the one that talked to me....

you mean mine?

[Kayar]

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey 16 male usa
You: Oh, really? That sucks for the Malaysians.
Stranger: what
You: Have you ever eaten a goat?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: m here
You: This is Z. Do you have the bomb, M?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: m?f?
You: You sound confused.
You: Do you need help deciding?
Stranger: huh
Stranger: u f?m?
Stranger: is it hard?
You: For you, maybe. I can help you if you want.
Stranger: Help me?
You: Step 1: Take a chicken, and put it on your head.
Stranger: ah Realy
You: Step 2: Eat ten walnuts in a row whole.
Stranger: ah what step 3
You: Well, first, I have to ask you a simple question, to determine if step 3 will work for you.
Stranger: ok
You: Have you ever swallowed the liver of a tadpole?
Stranger: NO
Stranger: wtf is this help
You: Oh no! That's terrible! You need to skip all the way to step 5: Suicide by drowning in oil.
Stranger: bye
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[wildrn]

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
Stranger: asl?
You: do you like eating rainbows?
Stranger: mostly
You: i do, they taste like fluff
Stranger: yea i do that a lot
You: cool! how about butterflies? i think they taste like skittles
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

First time on omegle

[kiddten]

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hey, I suck at trolling. Could you act offended for me?
You: Just pretend I am showing you my tiny dick right now.
Stranger: AHH YOU DICK YOU WILL NOT SUCCEED AT LIFE AND SO ON
You: Thank you sir
You: Now I can show this to my friends and increase the size of my e-penis.
Stranger: your welcome
You: You're*
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I'm lazy.

[wildrn]

I tried copying everything they said in caps, took a while for this one to catch on.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: HI
Stranger: u from?
You: U FROM?
Stranger: india
You: INDIA
Stranger: kool
You: KOOL
Stranger: m/f?
You: M/F?
Stranger: are you mad?
You: ARE YOU MAD?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Then I tried random stuff

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hihihi
Stranger: hahaha
Stranger: hehehe
Stranger: hohoho
Stranger: huhuhu
You: You are a dickdickdickheadheadhead
You have disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: Im a bi-sexual monkey. You?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: hi
Stranger: m 20 n u?
You: idk
You: i cant remember
Stranger: what?
You: i cant remember anything!
Stranger: really u don't no
You: no
Stranger: i think u gay
You: i think i have abtesia
Stranger: m r right?
You: what?
Stranger: yeah u r a gay
You: who the hell are you?
You: what the hell is this
You: WHERE THE HELL AM I!!!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[tokage]

I'll just leave this here.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Have you heard the good news?
Stranger: hhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
You: About the chickenpede?
Stranger: what???
You: A magical animal was discovered in southern new guinea
You: it is a centipede in which each segment is a chicken body
Stranger: really
You: yes!
Stranger: r u joking?
You: The chickenpede is capable of laying up to 120eggs every week
Stranger: yea
You: while it's diet is hard to find...
Stranger: ok
You: Bananas dipped in spring water have been a good substitute
Stranger: ooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
You: but it's original diet can still be found in southern new guinea
Stranger: ok
You: Market's going crazy with them
Stranger: m f
You: m f?
You: maf?
You: typo?
You: i dont know what maf meanss though
You: is it a codeword?
You: do I launch them now?
Stranger: what is af
You: They've been sitting in the cages for a few days, so they're plenty hungry
Stranger: maf
You: alright then.
You: keep an eye on brooklyn
You: don't let him pull of any sneaky shit
Stranger: then
You: then what?
You: is that another codeword?
Stranger: yea
You: is there a handbook i was supposed to recieve?
You: did I miss a staff meeting?
Stranger: i think u like talking
Stranger: or not
You: well, those are the two possibilities
You: i could like talking
You: i could not
You: sometimes I announce horse races
You: in my head
Stranger: so m f
Stranger: m f
Stranger: m f
Stranger: m f
You: what does this codeword mean?
You: m.... f....
You: ITS AN ACRONYM
Stranger: yea
You: I FINALLY UNDERSTAND
Stranger: it means male or fzmale
You: oh
You: i was way off
You: fzmale?
You: that sounds like a disease
Stranger: r u
You: a horrible horrible disease
Stranger: no its female
You: the disease is female?
You: is it sexy?
Stranger: no
You: oh
Stranger: yea
You: what?
Stranger: it is a sex
You: an instance of sex? At what point in time do you exist?
Stranger: u know what?
You: no
You: The SAMLink just went dark
Stranger: i know that u try to chat with me as long as possible
Stranger: by talking long
You: well, i was hoping to form a meaningful relationship with you
You: but all you do anymore is say codewords
You: And time travel
You: I feel like you don't even love me anymore
Stranger: i am not a girl
You: I knew that
You: o_o
Stranger: what
You: what nothing?
You: JUST TAKE OUR CHICKENPEDE
You: SHE DOESN'T LOVE YOU LIKE I DID
Stranger: do u want to sa bye
You: sa bye?
You: more codewords?
You: IM THROUGH WITH YOUR CODEWORDS
Stranger: i mean to say bye
You: SO YOUR JUST GOING TO LEAVE ME?
You: BASTARD.
Stranger: are u a girl or a boy
You: define "are"
Stranger: verb to be
You: or not to be
Stranger: in the present
You: huh... and exactly when is the present?
Stranger: what
You: What day is today?
You: more importantly, what year?
Stranger: monday
Stranger: 2011
Stranger: r u crazy
You: shit, gonna have to get back to you
Stranger: ???
You have disconnected.

[kiddten]

GODDAMNIT I REALLY WANT TO DRAW A HUMAN CHICKENPEDE NOW

[Noodle]

Am I the only one who knew about this bungiememe?