Don't be a shmenkie!

Special Operations Group

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Don't be a shmenkie!

Post by Vir2L™ » Wed May 04, 2005 11:04 pm

April 11th 2005
SITREP (SITuation REPort)
Action Encounter in the Klevstok Valley
(names have been changed to avoid further grief and discomfort to family members)

My name is not important. My COMMS designator was ROMEO 7.
On April 11 2005 my Squad was tasked with a Special Operations Mission to RECON forward into enemy territory and locate and report on OPFOR (Opposing Force) locations, strength and troop movements. We set out under the direction of Squad Leader Sgt. Allen Kelly at 0640 hours.

Travel was hampered by terrain obstacles, brush and our desire to move unobserved by suspected enemy patrols. Our Squad Leader employed a system of movement which required sending out a man on each flank while the Squad moved forward, led by a point man. Collapsing the flank men behind us as we passed and sending out other men on flank ahead. Sort of an Australian Crawl through the bush.

At 1020 hours, we came upon a small clearing where the grass had been matted down. Investigating the area we uncover empty food pouches and cigarette butts. Clearly the OPFOR had been in this area no more than an hour or so prior. Sgt Kelly prepared to move out again.

Fred ‘Skittles' Saunders was sent out on point. Sgt. Kelly sent me out on right flank and Joe Shmenkie out on left flank. No sooner had I entered the heavy brush than my radio crackled to life and I heard Joe Shmenkie talking loudly over the COMMS Channel.

"Did I ever tell you about that girl I met at the Piggly-Wiggly?" Joe said, to no one in particular. "Man, was she something." "Long blond hair and eyes so blue..." I moved deeper into the forest watching for any sign or movement.

"... well, we just talked and talked all night, like we had known each other for years." Joe babbled on and on, and I could believe the thing about ‘talking all night'. I crept slowly up a small ridge and peered through the grass at the top.

"When I get back State side, I'm going to ask her to marry me and we will get one of those houses over on Blake Street." "You know the ones with the..." Joe just kept yakking and yakking. I scanned the area ahead and to the right through the scope mounted on my M16. I heard some cross channel gargling on my COMMS set, like two people trying to talk at once. Then just Shmenkie again, yak, yak, yak.

"... and Kelvin, her brother works there and he is getting ten whole dollars and hour, can you believe that, ten bucks an hour!" I swung my rifle left and continued to scan through the scope.

Suddenly, a movement. I focused harder, There it was again, a movement in the trees directly ahead of my squads line of travel. Then a second and a third movement, damn its an ambush! Any minute now my Squad is going to walk out of cover and into an ambush!

I grabbed my COMMS mic and keyed up "ROMEO 7 here, CONTACT directly ahead of you Sgt Kelly!" I released the mic. "... would get a job there too if they was hiring, thing is I like working on cars..." I keyed my mic again "GET OFF THE CHANNEL SHMENKIE !" I called as loud as I dared.

Still looking through the scope I could see our point man laying down in the clearing. His body was in an awkward position and I figured he was dead. I keyed the mic again, "ROMEO 7 to KELLY, HOLD POSITION, OPFOR CONTACT AHEAD!" I let go of the mic. "... she already has a dog but I want to get one of those hound dogs, you know the kind with the big old ears..."

Just then, my Squad moved out from the edge of the bush and entered the clearing. "NO, NO" I screamed into the mic! "GET DOWN, GET DOWN!" I flipped the safety off my weapon and swung the sites back to the bush ahead of my Squad. "... and I could take him hunting with me and he would ride right up in the front of the truck too. All the way up the ridge to ..." I never heard what Shmenkie said next as the forest erupted with heavy automatic weapons fire from the bush ahead of our Squad. I fired into the muzzle flashes in the bush but could not see a real target. In a second, bullets riddled the ridge around where I lay and I ducked my head into the dirt. Something struck my arm at the shoulder and it tumbled me backward down the slope.

A while later I woke up. My left shoulder was a mess of raw meat and shattered bone. A Corpsman was bent over me fumbling with a field dressing. "Hang in there buddy, your ok, just going to fix you up and get you on that chopper home" he said in a far off voice. Blood dripped from the dog tags hanging from his neck. My blood? "My Squad..." I said trying to speak through a fog "My Squad...."

"Dead, your lucky, and they are all dead" he said. He pressed the dressing against my shoulder and a fiery pain shot through my body. "Just you and the other guy made it". "What other guy?" I tried to say. "Him." said the Corpsman "That guy at the chopper, Shmenkie I think he said his name was, not a scratch on him either." I turned my head and looked at Shmenkie climb into the waiting chopper. "Poor guy must be shell shocked, " the Corpsman said ".. hasn't stopped talking since we got here."

KEEP YOUR COMMS CHANNEL CLEAR or your Squad is Dead and you are just a Shmenkie!

- written by Zero_AS,
"You can't spell slaughter without laughter."

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