Omegle chats

[draconic74]

That was a fun read. Well done Kayar.

[Smythe]

A dead thread! REBORN!

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi
Stranger: horny m 16 bicurious
You: Nope.avi
You have disconnected

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi
Stranger: Looking for a female that would get off on a webcam receiving orders by an anonymous stranger she can't see.
You: hmm.... *looks around*..... Nope, none here. Sorry man, Try the Cantina.
Stranger: ok
Stranger: thx
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Dead Site]

Clueless stranger, next time I'll put "Brony or pegasister": this starts to get a bit, uh, TMI...
Stranger 1 is absolutely correct about everything but she's pushing it like Fox News.

[tokage]

Screenshots, man, I swear.

This angered the octopus living in my brain.

[Smythe]

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi
Stranger: hi
Stranger: asl?
You: 17 m australia here, yourself?
Stranger: 20 m korea
Stranger: oh my god
You: :O
Stranger: i'm two week go to the aus
You: oh cool!
Stranger: hoho
Stranger: it's nice
You: well good luck with that! don't get eaten by a kangaroo
You: they bite
You have disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: 1. Male 2. Female. 3. Horny Male 4. Horny Female
You: ALL OF THE ABOVE
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Smythe]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hey
Stranger: horny?
You: yep
Stranger: m,f
You: both
Stranger: wanna talk dirty?
You: yep, just so you know i'll have the two piece ready
Stranger: u start
You: So i walk out of the bathroom with the towel wrapped around my waist, i look to my left and pick up the cigarette lighter before entering the bedroom
Stranger: more
You: I grab the petrol can from beside the bed
Stranger: more
You: cover you in petrol
Stranger: more
You: and flick the lighter
You: catching us both in a blaze of fire that consumes our bodies and most of the house
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Dead Site]

Screenshots, man, I swear.

This angered the octopus living in my brain.

I see. I should've put use the

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 BBCode tags. Again. SORRY FOR WASTING YOUR BANDWIDTH.

[Kayar]

Let me show you how it's done.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Why don't you just go away, John?
You: Just go jump off a trampoline and die.
You: Or pull your spleen out of your body through your trachea.
You: That would be entertaining.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: heya
You: Well heya there Jimbo!
Stranger: WHHHHHHHHHHHHA
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hie
You: Hile.
You: DAMNIT SAY SOMETHING ELSE YOU PILE OF PIG VOMIT!
You: RAGING PENIS EXCREMENT COVERED IN THROAT JUICE AND PICKLES!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey!
You: Oh well hey there!
You: How are you today?
Stranger: fine thanks and u?
You: I feel terrible today!
Stranger: asl
Stranger: ...
You: I can't remember. But I do have this thing taped to my forehead, it says "we don't want you anymore."
You: What does it mean?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: So...
Stranger: im chinese hi
You: That's cool.
Stranger: many people hate chinese
Stranger: u know?
You: I don't.
You: I love all chinese people.
Stranger: so,,where r u from
You: I love hugging and kissing them and wo xir ni de xiang jiao.
Stranger: you r a chinese?
You: I don't know. I woke up yesterday and I think I have a cow on my head.
Stranger: ??
You: Sometimes I lapse into another language. Yo tambien esta una pinguino con carne.
Stranger: ok.
You: Soy el rey de Esponja
Stranger: you good.
Stranger: try typing chinese
You: 我愛你，我要殺死你的胎兒
Stranger: you know what ?? means?
You: 認為與頭部魚蒙格阿拉伯語地獄的關鍵。
You: 大豆UNA cancione！
Stranger: hahaha
Stranger: whats your country?
You: 在沙發上撒尿是什麼貓，所以我會吃沙發
You: 木衛二是我的土地！
Stranger: be normal
Stranger: ok?
You: TO [ZDRAVSTVULTE]! I EM OF THE BABIES
Stranger: ?????b
You: I AM ANORMAL!
You: I AM A NORMAL THINKING BEING PENIS MONGER EAT A GATO!
Stranger: so?
You: I think I have a sense in my head. Do you?
Stranger: what sense
Stranger: quickly
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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You're now watching two strangers discuss your question!
Question to discuss:
Have you ever eaten a fetus?
Stranger 1: yes
Stranger 2: ummm
Stranger 1: i like one for 3.99
Stranger 1: virginia fetus
Stranger 1: starting every morning with it
Stranger 2: i hope you know what a fetus it
Stranger 2: is *
Stranger 1: ofc
Stranger 2: you southern prick
Stranger 2 has disconnected

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Could you please fuck a cow and send me a picture? I need it for a class.
Stranger: ok
Stranger: moment
You: That's great! You'll have to wear motley though.
You: Do you have a set of motley?
Stranger: o yes
Stranger: 2
Stranger: sorry 3
You: Wonderful. Now please staple a live ferret to your leg.
You: Do you have staples? If not, use nails.
Stranger: ok
You: If not nails, bullets. If not bullets, syringes. If not syringes, oranges. Or magnets. If you know how they work.
Stranger: i know
You: Do you? Do you really?
You: How the fuck do they work then?
Stranger: yes
Stranger: why?
Stranger: good
You: BECAUSE I NEED TO KNOW YOU ASS OF A FROG!
You: ... Ahem. Sorry, I sometimes break out in HOLY SHIT.
You: Yes, yes, good yes.
Stranger: that s fine
You: Wear motley. Take the picture. With a live ferret on your leg. While fucking a cow. Do it. That's all that matters.
Stranger: you from?
You: Everywhere.
You have disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hii
You: hiii
Stranger: i male and not a gay
You: I female and a gay.
Stranger: ?? how??
You: I hate dicks, I like to Slam them in doors and kick the nut sacks with steel-toed boots.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Kayar]

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hello, F/15/france tell me the truth and only the truth ! :P
You: There is no god or heaven, and everything else you think is true is a lie.
Stranger: wow
Stranger: *_*
Stranger: I can't find my words now haha
You: Also, the blood of innocents actually tastes like vanilla ice cream.
You: It's quite good.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hi
You: What the fuck do you think you're doing Jimmy?
Stranger: M/f
You: Jimmy, stop that.
Stranger: No jimmy protested
You: What are you talking about, Jimmy? Are you trying to protest my protesting of what you were just doing?
You: ARE YOU?!
You: Jimmy, tell me the truth.
Stranger: Fuck you Brenda fuck you
You: Who the hell is Brenda? Jimmy, are you cheating on me? You bastard!
Stranger: Your Brenda dickhead
You: "Your Brenda..." So, "my" Brenda? I don't own a Brenda, Jim-Jim.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey.. 21 m here... looking for horny girl to skype with n role play on cam..
You: Oh, well, whaddya know, 21 f here looking for horny guy to chat with.
Stranger: skype name?
You: I don't use skype, I use chat roulette for all my video chat purposes.
Stranger: ohh
Stranger: sorry dear than
You: Do you like breasts?
You: Mine look sorta odd though.
You: Kind of like I have penises growing from my chest.
You: They leak green fluid sometimes.
You: Is that okay with you?
Stranger: bye
You: Wait!
You: Don't leave!
You: I've never had anyone else say anything nice to me before!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hiasl
You: I don't know. Do you know?
Stranger: ya
You: Is it... George Washington?
Stranger: no ur m 13 usa
Stranger: i like turtles
You: Do you like to lick them? I do.
You: I like it when they accidentally pee in my mouth as I'm licking them.
You: Turtles taste so good.
Stranger: i get the feeling that u stick them up ur ass too
You: Oh yes, of course I do. Why wouldn't I? Isn't that what they were made for?
Stranger: what do u do first stick them in ur ass or lick them?
You: No, no, first I marinate it in a spicy Asian sauce, then I preheat the oven to 500, and THEN I lick it. Then it goes in the oven, then it comes out 2 hours later, then it goes up the ass.
You: I do things the correct way.
You: I follow the instruction manual.
Stranger: ohh i see so how do they piss in ur mouth when theyre dead??
You: It may not be piss, it might be marinade and blood.
Stranger: i bought mine in the freezer isle... they dont come with instructions
You: That's a shame.
You: You could use my instructions.
Stranger: is ur wife a turtle?
You: No, she's a sex toy.
Stranger: 69 bitch
You: I stroke her every night.
You: 69? Is that the number you live by?
Stranger: nah its how long ur dick hasnt been used
You: Oh, I thought maybe it was your sperm count, or perhaps your IQ.
Stranger: no itshoebmany minutes i keep my turtles in the oven
You: Y'know, there's another way to do things. You could get in the oven with the turtle. I hear it's quite exhilarating.
Stranger: ive tried that before actually its not as much fin without ur mother
You: Not much "fin?" I was unaware that my mother had grown fins.
You: I suppose she looks slightly more like you now.
You: I seem to have silenced you.
Stranger: ahh ur good:D im only 13 kot very good at comebacjs
You: I see.
You: Then, farewell.
You have disconnected.

[tokage]

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: GREETINGS FROM THE WORLD OF TOMORROW!

Stranger: hey cunt

You: Actually my names brunt

You: brunt matrehorn

You: of the world of tomorrow

Stranger: oh so close and interseting

Stranger: you create a time machine to come back and go on the nternet

Stranger: how productive

You: Actually, this is an app

You: It's called Timewire

You: it lets me browse the internet back in time

You: if that wasn't too obvious

Stranger: even more wonderful to go back to see rebecca black

You: We had her executed

You: Welcome to the United Territories of Canada!

Stranger: oh a canadian...DISCONNECT! xDD

You: You'll be Canadian too pretty soon.

You: You'll see

You: You'll all see

Stranger: if i live that long...

You: You will

You: You'll see

Stranger: what year is it there?

You: 2058

You: You'd be amazed how many starbucks we burnt down

Stranger: do you know how many people will go on a riot for that shit?

Stranger: my mother would kill you herself

You: Not likely

You: Pacification drones make riots somewhat laughable

Stranger: o.o what have you done?

You: It was all necessary

You: The PRC could have exploited internal turmoil and destroyed us completely

Stranger: why is the world getting worst?

You: It all started with aggression from the North Koreans towards China.

You: NK was beaten easily, but China began invading the South Koreans too, as well as Japan.

You: Russia responded with a full force invasion, hoping to seize eastern Asia.

Stranger: wait why the fuck did russia come in?

You: Russia's relevance has been declining in Asia for years, even in your time

You: However, for fear of continued attack through Europe, the UK responded with airstrikes on Western Russia military base

You: bases^*

You: They were found out, and the US was forced to ally with their former colonizer

You: The United States was destroyed, but they didn't go down without a fight.

You: And Canada practically inherited the US soil

You: Really just to keep it out of Chinese hands

Stranger: oh. one question:will i be a whore in the future?

You: Briefly, but you do well.

You: Oh and if you were wondering why we destroyed Starbucks

You: It's because we suspected Chinese spies were using it to monitor Canadian civilians

You: Psychological warfare and all that

Stranger: oh makes sense and are you a simple commoner or in a higher ranking

You: I'm a Lieutenant General in the CPA, Timewire was initially intended to warn about the upcoming conflict, but no one believed us.

You: It's being distributed through the military to lower and lower ranking officers, and eventually it will be available to civilians.

You: We suspect it may not even be able to alter the past anyway, but chats like these are experimental

You: We're monitoring fluctuations in your timeline, to see if I can change anything as you learn about the history

You: or the future to you

Stranger: oh well this has been an eye-opener to me and since you said i do well as a whore,in the future can i fuck you?

You: 'fraid not. Prostitution has been legalized as a recreational service in high population density areas, but military personnel are a bit of a no-no

You: The punishments are even more severe for officers

Stranger: oh that sucks

You: Quite

You: Ah, my... relative time... In Timewire is ending. It takes a lot of power.

You: Brunt Matrehorn out

You have disconnected.

Oh goddammit I forgot to be funny.

[Kayar]

You should make Brunt Matrehorn your username, sir.

[tokage]

You should make Brunt Matrehorn your username, sir.

MAYBE I DID.

EDIT: Now... Brunt Matrehorn will strike with the fury of a thousand pornographers!

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: Greetings from the United Territories of Canada!

Stranger: 19 m mex

You: not for long your not

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Warning: More mildly interesting universe building below

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: Salutations past man!

Stranger: How are thee my rightgeous frind?

You: wonderful, my wondiferous acquaintance

You: I started to run out of adjectives

You: you win this round.

Stranger: hahahahaaha

Stranger: yesh

Stranger: and english isnt my first language either

You: In any case... What is the social and economic state of the world yesterperson?

Stranger: well, where im at, times are cold and desperate. How is the social environment where thy gracious self reside?

You: tense, but at the same time exhausted

You: wars do that.

You: So, have I landed around the 2012 period again?

Stranger: Actually, its the 1990 where this scene is taking place mate. Michael Jackson is performing live and George Bush is president of the western world.

You: Interesting. Well, things are going to suck in a decade or so... Then they'll get better... Then worse... Then WAY worse...

You: And for a while nothing...

You: And then a lot of explosions.

You: And then here

You: 70 years of history summarized in so many words

Stranger: My friend you are indeed quite eloquent. So who do we owe the pleasure of having you in our times?

You: The scientists down in X-15, crazy guys make Timewire and now I go from coordinating fire missions to sitting at a desk monitoring timelines of past lives.

Stranger: it sounds like a necesary but not simple duty. Do you find enough flesh of the fair kind?

You: A little. Don't tell my supervisor. Although there aren't many these days.

You: The chinese assassins are... Effective

Stranger: they sure are, so do you frequent the lands of the twisted and tormentes souls, 9gag as it may?

You: I think those servers were probably destroyed in Lone Star Prime, EMPs are a harsh mistress. Except in that case anyway.

You: An interesting tactic that, but prompting nuclear response is even more so

Stranger: hahahaha

Stranger: smile

Stranger: we are the united states of america

Stranger: government

Stranger: and we are watching you

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Will the US Government act on their newfound information? Will Brunt Matrehorn be assassinated? Is that actually how they name electromagnetic events? Will Brunt get any ass?
How the fuck should I know?

[Smythe]

Brunt, Kayar, Great reads both of you

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: F. Looking for fun. 19
You: Hey
Stranger: Hey to you too!
You: Oh i see how this is!
Stranger: I'm Dawn, You? :)
Stranger: you age is not important lets play
You: I'm Francis
Stranger: I'm from USA Virginia
You: Me too!
Stranger: If you want to have some fun like me you are in luck
You: luck doesn't seem to be on my side at the moment.
Stranger: No joke! I am trying to find someone to meet me here. You don't have to have a cam...really but you MUST bust a nut!
You: Farewell crazy computer lady! i must depart, they're coming.
You: i will never forget you!
Stranger: Ok soo :0) R U Hard Yet?
Stranger: follow for my live cam and pics hon
You: COMPUTER LADY
You: PLEASE
You: TELL
You: MY WIFE AND KIDS
You: THAT I DON'T KNOW HOW THEY HAPPENED
You: I MUST HAVE BEEN DRUNK
You: PLEASE
You: GOODBYE! AND IN YOUR NATIVE LANGUAGE I SAY
You: 1001 1001 1110 1110 0010 1100 001
You: NOW GO!
You: BE FREE
You: BEFORE THEY GE
You have disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: Hi
Stranger: do you think it's morally wrong
Stranger: to have sex before marriage?
You: that depends
Stranger: on?
You: your current circumstance
You: so
You: say you were at a party, you meet a nice christian girl, and you know that if you do have sex, she'll regret it in the morning, even if she claimed to want it beforehand.
You: however, if you're at a preschool then it's totally okay.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Kayar]

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hi
You: Hello. Do you have a penis stapled to your forehead?
Stranger: Asl?
You: A yes or no would suffice.
Stranger: I have penis stuck in ur ass
You: Impossible, I already have 12 fetuses there.
You: They are getting warm for the summer.
Stranger: Good 4u
You: Have you ever eaten the kidney of a whale?
Stranger: No
Stranger: Bye
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Smythe]

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi
Stranger: sooner all later we shall all taste the bitterness of death
Stranger: do you believe in God?
You: i am a fully fledged atheist
Stranger: Ahhh
Stranger: I'm scared
You: me too
Stranger: why are people scared of athiests?
You: i don't have a clue :/
You: we're not bad people
Stranger: neither have i
You: we just don't believe in santa anymore
Stranger: so who created man?!
Stranger: if not the almighty
Stranger: God
You: We evolved from a species of human like apes
Stranger: why do you like to think that?
Stranger: that has not been proved yet
You: Yes it has
Stranger: there are still missing fossils
Stranger: if you did evolve from apes
Stranger: why aren't the monkeys in this day and age evolving into humans?
You: but the DNA is almost exact, the bone structures are clearly defined as humans as time goes on
You: because it took millions of years
Stranger: why do monkeys exist now?
Stranger: shouldn't they have all evolved?
You: they have!
You: they have everything they need to survive in their current environment
Stranger: do you ever feel empty?
You: no actually :) I'm around 75% water, the rest is just other squishy stuff. Empty isn't something i can be
Stranger: emotionally?
You: but alas you have changed the subject of discussion because you can't formulate a proper argument
Stranger: it wasn't an argument
Stranger: it was pure curiosity
Stranger: and expressing my opinion
You: we were arguing our ideas for creationism/darwinism
Stranger: we were?
You: and you argued the point of the creationist
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I need to watch more of Richard Dawkins stuff :3